Ireland: Day Three

Day Three began at a farmhouse, where we enjoyed tea and scones. We did NOT enjoy the smell of manure that wafted through the region, forcing Nicholas to exclaim, "This poo is getting me high!" One of the family members that owned the farmhouse provided us with our first (but not last) Irish mullet sighting, prompting Emily to remark, "Top of the morning to you, mullet!" She did not say this to his face of course. After farmhouse shenanigans, we were off to Blarney Castle and the magical smooching of the Blarney Stone. Despite fears of mouth disease, we all kissed the stone, except for Phil and Nicholas. Nicholas was scared away by the meanest man in Ireland, who was in charge of holding people to kiss the stone. We also went to the Blarney Woolen Mills (which still sends us e-mails to this day), where we did some claddagh shopping and we saw (and took pictures of) more men in diagonal shirts, and a woman in rainbow shoes. We were then off to our hotel in Killarney. Peter, ever the fount of information, informed us that there was a club for young people in Killarney called "The Crypt." However, during our Killarney shopping, a girl informed Joe that the crypt was "SHOCKING" and full of divorced people. Sounds like Grapevine to me. We shopped around and tried (in vain) to find a liquor store. No dice: the locals responded with puzzled stares. Apparently the term "liquor store" is not self explanatory. We eventually discovered that liquor was sold at establishments called "off-licenses." We also had our first encounter with the amazing "Angelito." No, this was not a swarthy Italian traveler, but the best. ice cream. ever. We're all about superlatives. It's basically vanilla soft-serve with "ribbons" of flavored gel. We realize this sounds nasty, but trust us, it's tasty (and available at Naper Nuts and Sweets!). Emily was partial to the chocolate, while Shannon favored strawberry. We also had our first encounter with signs protesting the US military's occupancy of the Shannon Airport. As the signs proclaimed, "Get the US Military Out of Shannon," Shannon was forced to pose with one. We also encountered the first of many shady mannequins. They were much uglier than Kim Cattrall, and "nothing was gonna stop" Emily from taking artsy photographs. Our dinner at the hotel was quite nasty, (that may have been the evening Emily made the mistake of ordering lamb with mint sauce), so after yet another round of Angelito, we headed to the pubs. Note 1: we got Kindereggs in Killarney. Kindereggs, you ask? They're chocolate eggs with toys inside. Emily first encountered them on her senior year JCA trip to London. Good times. Note 2: Causing controversy in the ice cream world at this time were the "Seven Deadly Sins" ice cream bars, each named after a different sin. Apparently lust tastes like strawberry and chocolate. Earlier in the day we had spotted signs for an "Irish Idol" competition to be held at an American-themed bar called Mustang Sally's, and we had to check that out. The "American theme" consisted of statues of the Blues Brothers and patriotically colored bathroom doors. Note: the bathrooms were co-ed. Separate stall areas for genders, but the sinks, they were co-ed. Very Ally McBeal. The Irish idol competition was all that we imagined it would be, and more. There was a really hot guy who sang "Yellow" and "Get Here." Emily congratulated him on his prowess in the bathroom (well his prowess in singing, not his prowess in bathroom skills), but there was no love connection. Also competing was an incredibly talented Asian lad, who sang "Flying Without Wings." At the time of this trip, we were somewhat obsessed with Justin Timberlake's song "Rock Your Body," so we made up many versions of this song. The best by far was Joe's, "Don't be so quick to. . .say you're Asian, I'm gonna rock you in with. . .my persuasion." We also made up a calculus themed one that involved "derivation" and "calculation." We eventually did some strangely colored shots at the bar and felt sufficiently brave enough to check out "The Crypt." The Crypt was festooned with carpet that consisted of miniature versions of "The Scream." We had a lot of fun at the Crypt. . ."Tales From the Crypt" included Joe drunkenly demanding that the DJ play "Rock Your Body," which had not yet been released in the UK, and our repeated requests to hear "Murder On the Dancefloor," which were finally met. I believe we started the dance party at that place. At one point Shannon drunkenly ("drunkenly" is a key word in this post) abandoned her drink. She went to reclaim it, but was saved from the inevitable dose of Roofies by Emily's slightly more sober common sense. After some gymnastic adventures involving what looked to be a high bar placed in the middle of Killarney, we called it an evening. Note: there were also some adventures involving a fire hose that no one remembered until we saw the pictures.
Pictured: Nicholas enjoying a spot of tea.